Communication Error

Communication :

(Noun) The imparting or exchanging information or news.

To me communication is the most powerful tool we have. Nothing works without it. It is the key element to everything. Relationships rely heavily on communication and without it, they fail. As individuals, we get caught up in our own situations and what’s going with ME, that we forget to communicate. We start thinking that people, especially the ones we know well, should just get it! This lands us in a dangerous trap I like to call the “Mind Reader” mentality. It’s been a one-sided joke that women think men are mind readers. To be honest, we men think women are mind readers as well. On several occasions I’ve been guilty of thinking that my wife should “just know” how to be or what to do or what I meant! This is very false. No matter how well someone knows you, they’ll never be able to read your mind. People may have great insight as to how you may like certain things, but it’s never a definite that anyone at any time knows exactly what’s going on in your head.

Matthew 7

7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

To get what we want, we need to ask. Nowhere in the Bible does it say anything about things being given to people who only think. Communication is an action word. It’s something that requires work. Of course you’re not always going to have the zeal or energy to constantly explain things to people but it’s definitely worth doing. It’s been my own experience and criticism that I give people too much credit. There’s something in my head that makes me think that people should automatically know how to be. I guess it comes from when I was kid and how my parents always held me accountable and how, as an adult, I always hold myself accountable for my actions. But everyone wasn’t raised in my household so how can I assume they’re going to share the same beliefs or follow the same path? Not only is it a self-centered action, it’s also unfair to whom you do it. God knew things like this would happen. That’s why he told us in His word to ask, seek, and knock. Nothing is given freely except salvation, and even with that, you’ve got to make the first move.

Communicating isn’t easy. A lot of “stuff” comes with it. And when you’re not used to being communicative, it’s a long hard road to travel to get to that place where it comes naturally. But like I said before, it’s worth it.

-SP

He Knows Us Best

This weekend, Team P and I took a trip to VA to celebrate my parents birthdays. God showed us much favor while we were there. On our drive down, we only had a quart of gas in our minivan. Those of you who know anything about automobiles (I know very little) know that you need at least 5 quarts in your car at all times. This could have been a catastrophe because the drive was 500 miles! At any given time our engine could have locked up and we would have been stuck on I95 somewhere praying for a miracle. But God saw fit to allow us to make it down there safely with no complications. My dad, who's a mechanic, among other things, was totally amazed that a minivan made it that many miles, with so little oil. Favor!

While we were down there, my cousin noticed that my engine was smoking! I immediately thought that my engine was messed up but it turned out to be one of my hoses leaking on to a pipe and that was making the smoke. I couldn't make out what it was that was leaking so I called my dad for help and he referred me to a local mechanic. The mechanic told me that my transmission was leaking fluid but he couldn't really do anything because they didn't have the equipment necessary to fix my problem. He told me my best bet was to go to the dealership to get it checked out because only they had exactly what I needed to fix my car.

I hope you see where I'm going with this...

Sometimes as Christians we get down. We get broken and we need fixing. But what do we do? We go to the local mechanic, our girlfriends and homies, only to get the wrong diagnosis and wind up in more trouble than what we started out with. We need to take all of our problems to the dealership aka Jesus Christ, the one who created us, who has all the knowledge and equipment to fix our problems. Instead of confiding in your best friend about your marital problems, you need to get on your knees and take it to the Father. 1 Peter 5:7 says, "casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." You don't have to settle for second hand solutions and remedies for your problems. The one who created you and loves you more than anyone ever could, has all the answers. His desire is for you to take it to HIM and only HIM for he's a jealous god (Joshua 24:19)

After the dealership finished taking care of our leaky antifreeze hose, they noticed our check-engine light was on. They did a diagnosis and found out there was something wrong with the ER-valve and fixed that too. When we brought the van in the receptionist told us that our warranty might not cover the repairs because they saw similar cases and in every case people had to pay out of pocket. I told you God gave us favor right? We were TOTALLY COVERED for both repairs. All we had to do was pay a deductible which was nothing compared to what we could have paid.

When you go to God with your troubles, he doesn't just fix one but all! Your child might be sick so when you pray all you're thinking about is them getting better. You don't bring up the fact that you're late on rent, you have no money for food, and your phone just got cut off. But God knows all and he's equipped to take care of all. He's in the total-body healing business all you have to do is just take it to him. Won't cost you anything but some time in prayer. I think that's a fair trade, don't you?

-SP

I've Outgrown This

Yesterday, as I was cleaning out my sink after a haircut, my attention was grabbed by the smell of my youngest son's toothpaste. It wasn't anything fancy but it was the same type of toothpaste that I'd used when I was a kid. The smell brought back memories of my childhood and I was walking down memory lane for a minute. It was a good minute. It was so good that, for a split second, I thought, "maybe I should start using this again" I mean, I love the smell and it tastes like bubble gum, why not? I'll tell you why not. Had I started using this children's toothpaste on my adult teeth, they'd be in the worse shape in the history of teethdom (yeah I made that up)

There has to come a time in our lives where we come to the realization that we've just outgrown certain things. We cannot go through life repeating the same things over and over again because it'll cause us to become stagnant and unproductive. God is all about progression, "behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." (Isaiah 43:19 (KJV)) He's tire of the same ol' same ol'. How many times do we go to him in prayer asking for the same thing, the same deliverance, the same breakthrough? When do we get the fortitude to say, "the buck stops here" or "this far and no further!" God has given us everything we need to speak to a situation and make it change but are we using our tools?

Every New Years, people make resolutions to do or not to do a certain thing. For the past couple years, since I've been married, my resolution has been to lose weight and get back into shape. I'd start out ON FIRE! Eating right, doing a little exercise, I'd come out of the blocks looking like Sonic the Hedgehog. I'd get all cocky, like I was doing something big but then I'd began to slow down. I'd say to myself, "oh I'll just have a cheat here and there." But pretty soon, that cheat would turn into an everyday thing. Next thing I know, I'm right back in the same habit, doing the same thing, and feeling sorry for myself because I didn't accomplish what I'd set out to do. The same context applies to our walk with God. We sin, go to church, get some prayer, roll on the floor, get delivered, and we feel on top of the world because that burden of sin has be lifted. The next couple of days are good because you're talking to God on the regular, you're reading your word, and you are just determined to never go back to that place again. But as the days go by we get comfortable and cocky like we got this thing beat. So we skip a day of prayer because we're tired and whatever our issue was, we feel it's no longer that serious. The skipped day of prayer turns into a week and on top of that, we're not reading our bible. We think we've turned into this superhuman who no longer needs God because at that particular moment we're doing good. In all actuality, that's the time you need God most because that's going to be the time when that temptation is going to come and because you've decided to fly solo, you're going to go back to that same thing you just got delievered from! Whenever you feel like you no longer need God for ANYTHING, is when you need to get down on your knees and ask for forgiveness. "Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture." (Psalms 100:3) We are his creation, his design, who better than him to know what we need?

I've come to the point in my life where I know that I can not make it without God. Every struggle that I've overcome was because of him. I've also come to the realization that my walk with God is a day-to-day thing. I'm not living for tomorrow because I might not see it but my prayer is, "lord help me, this day". Just like how God's mercies are new every morning, so are satan's tricks. He's going to try to get you to do whatever it is that's keeping you bound. If gossiping is your vice, then he's going send phone calls your way that have the juiciest gossip. If cursing someone out when you're mad is your struggle then he's going to send someone to cut you off in traffic only to see that person at the grocery store later that day. Every day, in every way, the enemy is going to try to steal, kill and destroy you. that's why everyday, in every way we need to recognize how much we need the Lord. Without allowing God to have rule over our flesh, we listen to the gossip, we give the person who cut us off a good piece of our mind.

It's time to mature in God. No more same ol same ol, he's not that type of God. "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV)) If we're in him as much as we claim to be, then we have no choice but to realize that we've outgrown our sins of yesterday. Just like the new wine couldn't go into the old skins, our new self cannot go into our old life because if it does, like the old skins, we'll break.


-SP

What To Do with an Open Door

These are the Air Jordan 3 Retro '88s aka "Slam Dunk Contests". These are the shoes (retroe'd of course) that Mike wore when he beat Nique in the 1988 Slam Dunk Contest. These were released online yesterday (February 6, 2013) at 4:51 pm. Sneakerheads (I'm proud to be one) and resellers all over the world were logging on to various websites trying to get a pair of '88s. My website of choice was finishline.com mainly because I shop there on a regular and they have a great rewards program, The Winner's Circle. They set up a "waiting room" page to hold back traffic so the site wouldn't crash. You didn't have to refresh your browser, you just had to wait... and wait... and wait. Hopefully you were one of the one's who waited long enough until you were allowed on the site. To make a long story short, I waited for a long, long time. Almost 4 hour sitting in front of my computer, hoping for the chance to get a pair of these exclusive sneakers. The funny thing is, I didn't even think I was ever going to get the opportunity to get the kicks because I'd never gotten through before and the chances of actually getting passed MILLIONS of people on ONE site, were very slim. Funny thing is, I DID get through. You would think that this would be a story about how I got the shoes, WRONG! I winded up getting booted off the purchase page because when it was time to check out I took too long. A most sneaker websites that deal with big releases have a timer built in so if you take too long and hold up the site, other people who are ready can have a chance. When the chance I prayed for (yes I pray for sneakers)  came, I couldn't focus, I wasn't prepared, and I blew it! I was so shocked that I actually got what I wanted, I didn't know what to do! Who does that?! I do... we all do!

I shared that with you to say, we as people of God need to always be prepared for our blessings. Yes God can move and work on your behalf but when it comes time to receive the blessing are you in in place? Are you prepared? ARE YOU REALLY READY? My church's theme for this year is "The Year of Opportunity" and it's based on Revelation 3:8 which says, "I know they works: behold, I have set before thee an open door and no man can shut it..." God knows your labor, he sees all that you go through. He knows how much you sacrifice and he knows your heartache. It's in his will to bless you with your heart's desire, but are you in a place to where you can handle it? On a funny level I prayed and asked God to allow me to get the shoes, not thinking that it would really happen. So when it did happen, I wasn't really prepared for it and I wasted my opportunity. Of course it's a funny situation because it's about some sneakers but we as people of God do it all the time. We ask God for a financial blessing, but we don't pay our tithes. We ask God for a job but we wake up at noon to look for one or if someone says, "McDonald's is hiring" we get offended like McDonald's don't pay in U.S. currency and it's beneath you to work there. Last time I checked money is money and it's never been beneath me to make money. To take it a step further, we ask God for a mate but walk out the house looking like the ANTI-MATE (lol). If you ask God for it, you need to be walking like you already have it. You think Gabrielle Douglas just made up those Gold-winning routines when she got to London? No, she had her routine AND her gold-medal acceptance speech ready in 2011!

We also have to get out of this mindset that someone owes us something. NOBODY OWES YOU ANYTHING! I'm not sure if I'm the first to tell you, but if I am, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. If you are not in your place, then someone is going to take it. No one is going to hold your space and there is no ditching! I really learned that the hard way last night because I didn't make the most of my opportunity and got kicked me off the site. Now someone else is wearing the shoes I was supposed to have. My pastor, Dr. Robert C. Jiggetts Jr., is a firm believer that "One monkey don't stop the show" If they call you to preach and you're not there, someone else will preach. If you're not there to usher, someone else will USH (lol). God has given gifts to everyone but it's up to us to use them. God also gives us many opportunities, but it's up to us to be in our right place to make the best of the situation. God will use anyone to get His glory, just like Nike/Jordan Brand will use anyone to buy their shoes! Don't squander your opportunity because of lack of preparedness.

I'm going to leave you with an equation and I hope that you'll take it to heart

Don't just wait for the door to open, be prepared to walk through it!

-SP

Forgiveness

Last week I was browsing through my Facebook, looking at old pictures and such, and I came across a note that I'd written in like '09. I began to chuckle because the comments were all about how people didn't know I had the "deep thinker" side. I was giving myself all sorts of Amens because the words were true and it was a motto I thought I lived by. It simply said, "It's OKAY to forgive and forget, just don't forget that you forgave." This was a motto that I came up with because I found myself in situations where forgiveness was something you had to jump through hoops to get. But I told myself, I'll always forgive and let go! It's funny how God will allow a situation to arise to test very words you speak.


So I see this post on Facebook and it involves a guy who I associated with back in the days when I was singing R&B, trying to get discovered. To make a long story short, this guy made a promise to me and did not honor it. That was over 4 years ago. I've gotten married, had a baby, made an album and on to the next, since then. You'd think I would have gotten over it by now. Fact is, I thought I did, until I saw that Facebook post. So my first reaction when I saw the post was, "I can't stand this guy." I continued to think about what had transpired between us and, before I knew it, I was posting how much of a liar this guy was. I didn't even think... it was like my first reaction! To make matters worse, he wasn't the one who made the post. It was by someone else who was supporting him and now I'm bringing the drama to their page. The other person tried to make me feel at ease about the broken promise, saying that there was some miscommunication. As I read what they posted, I begin to think, "why did I even do that?" So I immediately erased the post, thinking that all will be well. Well, all wasn't well because as soon as I hit "confirm delete" the guy was calling my phone. Now he wasn't rude or disrespectful and he made the attempt to honor the promise, but I thought to myself, "Shaun, that was 4 YEARS AGO!" I told him how sorry I was for even putting it up there and that I didn't know where it came from, it just happened. But he still wanted to do right and I commend him for doing that. It showed a lot of integrity on his behalf.


The point is, I didn't forgive him. If I had forgiven him, I would not have felt the way I did when I saw the FB post. If I had forgiven him I wouldn't have posted what I posted. Mark 11:26 says, "But if ye do not forgive, neither will your father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses." By not forgiving him, I was trapped in a place where I didn't want to be. I was feeling a way I didn't want to feel over a situation that didn't even matter to me. Although awkward, I'm glad he called to make amends because I was then able to truly forgive him for whatever happened. I'm now free from the bondage of that particular situation and I can move on with the rest of my life.


When we don't forgive we give the other person/thing power over us that they didn't even ask for. While you're holding on to a grudge, they're at the mall buying the new Jordan Retro 3s '88 (which are coming out tomorrow btw) they're out living their lives. Satan would love for anything to have you bound. The more you're mind is preoccupied with what Joe did eight years ago, the more your mind is not on your assignment from God. If he can get your mind off your task, then he's won.


I hate losing... I'm going to forgive... to be spiteful.


-SP

I Deserve This

With this being Black History Month, we reflect on how Blacks overcame racial prejudice and tyranny. From slavery, to segregation, to being "equal" black folks have endured hardships beyond comprehension. We are free, in the general sense of the word, but a lot of people are slaves to inferiority complexes. This is a dangerous mindset, that's been handed down from generation to generation, that says, "because you have something that I don't have, you're better than me" or "I don't deserve to be in the same company as you because you have something I don't." What a sad way to live life. 

I experienced feeling inferior for a brief moment this weekend. I had a piano lesson in a town that I was somewhat familiar with. I'd been there many times but I'd never been to this particular part. As I pulled on to the street where the house was, I said, "OH LORD!" I noticed that there was no debris on the street and there was at least 100 yards between each house. The houses were huge, grass neatly cut, 3 car garage minimum! As I continued driving on the street, the houses were getting even bigger and I began feeling smaller and smaller. In my head I was thinking that I didn't even belong on the street, especially with my dented up Toyota Corolla and all the cars parked by the homes were luxury vehicles. I thought, "how did I end up here?" "am I on the wrong street?" All of these negative self images came to mind. I, being a kid from humble beginnings, who's now working super hard to make things work for my family, am about to rub elbows, well teach piano, with some little rich kid who probably has more money in his account than I do. When I finally got to the house, I took pictures of it because I wanted to show everyone how totally baffling this situation was for me. And to make matters worse, when I got in the house, they asked me to take my shoes off but there was no carpet. So me, already feeling inferior from being in this affluent neighborhood, was now feeling even more inferior because (in my mind) only rich people take their shoes off in a house where there's no white carpet. But I pressed on and of course they were the nicest people in the world and the lesson went pretty well. 

As I left I began to shake my head, feeling like I was in way over my head. The owners of the house were very well off, very well known, and very well connected. Out of all the celebrity contacts they had, why did they want me? That thought rattled in my mind for a minute and it brought about other thoughts I had while growing up. Occasionally, I would feel like I didn't deserve the best because of where I came from or how I looked or how much money was in my pocket. But then I began to think on Deuteronomy 28:13 which says, "And the Lord shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the Lord thy God..." This really shook me up and I had to rebuke those negative thoughts because it was causing me to live believe that I wasn't good enough. I didn't have any reason to feel inferior because I didn't have as much money as they did. Of course it would be nice, but I have everything I need right now. I have a loving family and support system. I have multiple incomes. I own two cars and pay my own rent. Most of all I have Jesus! And he's all I'll ever need! I may not have all the material things that I want right now, but they're on their way. I'm not even 30 yet and I'm doing better than most people in the world. I had to affirm and declare to myself that am a child of the King and an heir to the royal bloodline. After that little self-check, I felt a lot better and began to say to myself, "why not me?" Certainly I have the talent and know-how, so why not me?

It is my prayer and hope that my children never feel inferior. When you feel less-than or inferior, you hold yourself back from a lot that life has to offer. Just think of the things you didn't do because you felt you weren't smart enough or beautiful enough. Where would you be in life? Who would you have met? Where would you have gone? What would your life be like now, if you had just stepped out on faith and the fact that you deserve this? I always tell my kids, especially my sons, "nothing or no one is too good for you." I know there will come a time when that's going to be tested but they'll always have the words of their father and the word of THE father! 

So as we continue to celebrate the amazing story and legacy of the African-American, let's remind ourselves that even though we were enslaved, even though we were beaten and killed, even though we were made to feel inferior, we have triumphed and are now free. We have overcome slavery and segregation in the technical sense but let us overcome segregating ourselves from life because we are slaves to an inferior mindset.

-SP