Forgiveness

Last week I was browsing through my Facebook, looking at old pictures and such, and I came across a note that I'd written in like '09. I began to chuckle because the comments were all about how people didn't know I had the "deep thinker" side. I was giving myself all sorts of Amens because the words were true and it was a motto I thought I lived by. It simply said, "It's OKAY to forgive and forget, just don't forget that you forgave." This was a motto that I came up with because I found myself in situations where forgiveness was something you had to jump through hoops to get. But I told myself, I'll always forgive and let go! It's funny how God will allow a situation to arise to test very words you speak.


So I see this post on Facebook and it involves a guy who I associated with back in the days when I was singing R&B, trying to get discovered. To make a long story short, this guy made a promise to me and did not honor it. That was over 4 years ago. I've gotten married, had a baby, made an album and on to the next, since then. You'd think I would have gotten over it by now. Fact is, I thought I did, until I saw that Facebook post. So my first reaction when I saw the post was, "I can't stand this guy." I continued to think about what had transpired between us and, before I knew it, I was posting how much of a liar this guy was. I didn't even think... it was like my first reaction! To make matters worse, he wasn't the one who made the post. It was by someone else who was supporting him and now I'm bringing the drama to their page. The other person tried to make me feel at ease about the broken promise, saying that there was some miscommunication. As I read what they posted, I begin to think, "why did I even do that?" So I immediately erased the post, thinking that all will be well. Well, all wasn't well because as soon as I hit "confirm delete" the guy was calling my phone. Now he wasn't rude or disrespectful and he made the attempt to honor the promise, but I thought to myself, "Shaun, that was 4 YEARS AGO!" I told him how sorry I was for even putting it up there and that I didn't know where it came from, it just happened. But he still wanted to do right and I commend him for doing that. It showed a lot of integrity on his behalf.


The point is, I didn't forgive him. If I had forgiven him, I would not have felt the way I did when I saw the FB post. If I had forgiven him I wouldn't have posted what I posted. Mark 11:26 says, "But if ye do not forgive, neither will your father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses." By not forgiving him, I was trapped in a place where I didn't want to be. I was feeling a way I didn't want to feel over a situation that didn't even matter to me. Although awkward, I'm glad he called to make amends because I was then able to truly forgive him for whatever happened. I'm now free from the bondage of that particular situation and I can move on with the rest of my life.


When we don't forgive we give the other person/thing power over us that they didn't even ask for. While you're holding on to a grudge, they're at the mall buying the new Jordan Retro 3s '88 (which are coming out tomorrow btw) they're out living their lives. Satan would love for anything to have you bound. The more you're mind is preoccupied with what Joe did eight years ago, the more your mind is not on your assignment from God. If he can get your mind off your task, then he's won.


I hate losing... I'm going to forgive... to be spiteful.


-SP